By Cherae Hunt |Asst. News Editor|
As a woman, I always wanted that fairytale romance.
You know what I mean, the kind of stuff you see in movies where the super sexy, confident but not cocky guy sees you from across the room and thinks that you are the perfect woman.
He looks into your eyes and instantly sees happily ever after. You get married, own a big house, and raise three perfect kids.
Someone should’ve slapped me back from that silly reality a long time ago because real relationships are ridiculously difficult.
You never truly know what is wrong with you until you’ve been in one.
But should you change yourself to make your relationship work?
You should only change yourself if it is going to help you become a better person.
Changing things like showing your intimate partner respect,
courtesy, acceptance, unconditional love, support, and any other positive emotion that you share with someone you truly love, according to selfesteem-building.com.
Let’s face it, the first three months of any relationship is the “sprung” phase.
Everything you or your significant other does is great because you haven’t shown each other your true selves completely.
“If the person likes you for who you are why do you have to change yourself? I mean, that’s why that person went out with you in the first place because they liked you for you,” said student Kirsten Cruz.
I love my boyfriend, and I would try anything to make our relationship stronger.
We’ve been together for almost two years, and through our relationship my boyfriend has pointed out something he didn’t like.
He used to rave about how stylish I dressed. I was classy yet sexy, but he hated the fact that other guys would look at me in a sexual way.
I always took pride in the way I looked, but I changed my wardrobe to make him feel better. That was a big mistake.
“Changing yourself for a relationship could mean being someone you’re not. Or acting in a way that is not congruent with your true self. And being someone you’re not will lower your self-esteem by making you feel not good enough,” according to selfesteem-building.com.
I became depressed that I couldn’t be my true self.
“Relationships are based on compromise because, despite rom-com fantasies, there is no such thing as a “perfect fit” between people. There are some “almost-there” fits and “pretty darn close” fits, but you’re never going to find someone who just so happens to conform exactly to the life you’ve established as a single person,” according to bustle.com.
“As a guy, if I had a girlfriend that dressed sexy I would want her to feel confident, but I wouldn’t want her to dress that way all the time. I mean, who is she trying to impress? I don’t want other guys to think that they can have what I have,” said student Nathan Washington.
I get where Nathan is coming from, but a boyfriend/girlfriend should be confident in themselves, and not
let what other people do or say bother them.
My boyfriend now understands that changing my wardrobe changed me, and that isn’t fair.
No one should change for a relationship. The only reason why you should change is if the change will make you a better person.
To be with a person, you should love them for who they are.