“You are going to miss out on the best experience of your life.”
“Isn’t that a really selfish choice?”
“You will change your mind one day.”
These are just a few examples of the warnings and questions I have received regarding my decision to be childfree.
The decision to be childfree by choice is still a widely taboo subject. Most people get married, own a home, have children and live the American dream.
That just isn’t my American dream.
As a young girl and throughout my teenage years, the thought of being a mother never clicked with me. I was more preoccupied with school, friends and financial independence.
When I was 17, I met the man I would marry eight years later.
I was no longer envisioning a future just for myself. I was now visualizing the one with my future husband.
The longer we dated, the clearer the picture got.
Children were not in that picture.
We spent many nights talking about our goals in life and how we envision our future, and we were lucky to share the same opinion.
It is often difficult for people to understand the reasons why two young, healthy and loving people would not want to have children.
In hopes of adding insight to those questions, I have a list of some of the reasons we are childfree by choice:
Career Goals: Both my husband and I have very ambitious career goals that children simply do not fit into. Neither of us wants to compromise our plans for something we don’t feel passionate about.
Financial Stability: Without going too in depth, my childhood was unpredictable and stressful. I always knew that financial stability was a non-negotiable term in my life as an adult and it is no secret that children are incredibly expensive.
Lifestyle Choice: Tying into financial stability, my husband and I both love to travel and factor it heavily into our future. We work hard and enjoy setting extra money aside specifically for our planned adventures. Additionally, the spontaneity of throwing clothes in a bag and taking off across state lines for a weekend is something we treasure.
Dogs: It may sound crazy but it must make the list. I feel that one of my purposes in life is to rescue as many dogs as I can. I have always had dogs in my home, my husband has always had dogs in his home, and the future we talked about always involved a four-legged child, not a two-legged one.
Lack of Interest: There simply is no interest to have a child. I love being an aunt, but the thought of having a child of my own does not stir some buried maternal instinct or make my “biological clock” tick.
My Relationship: I really have no words for how much I love my husband. I could not imagine a better person to go through this crazy life with. When it comes down to it, there is nothing I am willing to put between my relationship with my husband.
These are just a few of the reasons I am childfree by choice. I believe it is important to remember that it is OK to make decisions in your best interest.
There is no need to feel pressured to meet anyone’s expectations.
If you want kids, have them. If you don’t want kids, don’t have them.
No choice is better or worse than the other.