The Top Ten Sheen-isms

Compiled by Jennifer Baugh |Assistant A&E Editor|
Please be warned! What you are about to read will, undoubtedly, blow your mind! Mass consumption of a drug the FTC has yet to discover, the “Charlie Sheen”, will indeed give you an unexplainable craving for the blood of a tiger, unsightly weight loss results, an uncontrollable tendency to blurt out nonsense, and, just may, turn you into a winner. Enjoy.


10. “If you’re a part of my family, I will love you violently.”

9. “I probably took more drugs than anyone could survive. I was banging
seven-gram rocks, because that’s how I roll. I have one speed, I have one gear:

8. “It’s perfect. It’s awesome. Every day is just filled with just wins. All we do is
put wins in the record books. We win so radically in our underwear before our
first cup of coffee, it’s scary. People say it’s lonely at the top, but I sure like the

7. “I have a disease? Bulls****. I cured it with my brain.”

6. “I’m not Thomas Jefferson. He was a p****.”

5. “I got tiger blood, man. My brain…fires in a way that is – I don’t know, maybe
not from this particular terrestrial realm.”

4. “I don’t live in the middle anymore. That’s where you get slaughtered. That’s
where you get embarrassed. From the prom queen. and I just…it’s just not an

3. “I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available because if you try
it, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your
exploded body.”

2. “I’m sorry man, I got magic and I’ve got poetry in my fingertips, you know,
Most of the time — and this includes naps — I’m an F-18, bro. And I will
destroy you in the air. I will deploy my ordinance to the ground.”

1. “I’m bi-winning. I win here and I win there. Now what? If I’m bi-polar, aren’t
there moments where a guy like crashes in the corner like, ‘Oh my God, it’s all
my mom’s fault!’ Shut up! Shut up! Stop! Move forward.”


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