By Erendy Torres |Staff Writer|
My dad never asked my mom to be his girlfriend when they
started dating 23 years ago. So, does that mean my parents are still “hooking up” to this day?
Of course not. They have three children together and are fully committed to each other. Titles don’t mean anything.
Relationships don’t need a title to be considered official. Lacking an official title does not make a relationship faulty or weak.
Two people can be completely comfortable and happy with one another maintaining an Unofficial Exclusive Relationship: “When two people are dating, but not in a relationship. Even though they are not officially together, both individuals are not looking to get with or date anyone else,” as defined by UrbanDictionary.com
Having the title of couple is nice, but if you are already behaving as a couple by kissing, calling each other pet names like “babe,” hanging out frequently, and giving each other explanations and apologies for misunderstandings, you are in a relationship.
“I don’t think a title makes a relationship. I have two kids with my husband, we are not legally married, and he never asked me to be his girlfriend. But he is still my husband. It is foolish to think or say otherwise,” said student Karen Nava.
In today’s society, most people don’t even go through the “would you be mine?” stage anymore. It just happens.
“I don’t know, it just seems to me that you reach a certain age and you stop asking and start knowing. If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, it’s a relationship,” stated Stephanie Georgopulos, writer at Studio@Gawker in the article “How Do Couples Become Official These Days?“
However, most people would argue that a relationship is not official until the “proposal/question” comes through. But “the talk” doesn’t make the relationship, the actions do.
I am in an unofficial exclusive relationship (or so they call it) and I couldn’t be any happier. My partner and I talk, argue, and behave just like any other “official” couple does. We are both busy people, working and going to school full-time, but we still manage to find time for each other.
Most people ask me: “Why not just make it official?” My answer always is: “Why rush it?” We are still in the stage of getting to know each other and enjoying each other’s company.
My explanation is not good enough for many people. In fact, most people think I am a conformist, weird, young woman that “dates just to date.” They don’t know my expectations though.
What tells them I am not looking for a serious relationship and commitment? What tells them I am not thinking of the future? What tells them I don’t want to get married in a white bridal gown? Nothing. Because people just assume that not having the “title” makes me careless.
Another thing that people argue is: “Well, you might be committed, but is he?” Or, “How do you know it is not a fling and this relationship is actually going somewhere?”
can’t fully know, but even people in “official” relationships cheat. Titles don’t stop people from cheating. Personally, I can tell my partner is committed to me and cares about me by the way in which he takes care of me, talks, and looks at me. The rest is all about taking chances.
People just have different perceptions and ways of doing things when it comes to relationships and that’s okay.
It shouldn’t matter how two people decide to establish their relationship. As long as they love and understand each other, what’s the problem?
Titles are not important or needed to make a relationship official, it just falls into place.
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