Whenever I ask my friend about any trouble that may be going on in her life she feels the need to be dishonest with me. What can I do to confront her about it? Should I even attempt it?
Signed Concerned Friend
Dear Concerned Friend,
These can be tricky situations. You obviously care about your friend and her well being, but sometimes being asked “what’s wrong,” can add to what is actually wrong.
The best thing to do is to convey to her how much she means to you, and that if she EVER needs to talk that she can come to you.
This will be more comforting than anything else. Be patient with her, and try getting her mind off of things by having fun.
Things will get better with time, I wish you both happiness.
How do I tell my friend she’s turning into a real bitch without hurting her feelings?
Dear Annoyed Friend,
In this case, communication really is the key. When talking to someone who might take offense to what you’re saying its best to use “I” language.
Avoid saying things like “You did this or you did that,” instead try saying “I feel hurt when you ____.” If they’re a good friend, who genuinely cares about you, they will be open to what you’re saying.
Another tactic to use is body language. Make sure you two are at the same eye level and that you have an open demeanor to you. Don’t stand with your arms crossed, this gives a signal that you’re closed to communication. If the person you’re talking to has this sort of stance, bring it to their attention. Say something like, “The way your standing makes me feel like you’re not open to what I’m saying.”
And finally, ask questions. Ask them to propose a solution, “What can we do to get past this?” Be open to what they’re saying as well.
Communication is a two way street. Its important to listen, and not just hear what the other person is saying.
Remember to keep a cool head and be honest. Leaving something you’re concerned with out of the conversation will not help you resolve your feelings.
Don’t worry either!
If this “friend” isn’t willing to communicate with you, then they’re probably someone you don’t need in your life anyway.
I am a senior who will be Graduating this summer and I have yet to find a job or have any prospects. It has caused me a lot of anxiety. What should I do to alleviate my stress?
One of the best ways I’ve been able to cope with stress regarding things that are semi-out of my control is to keep the classic motto, “Work hard, play hard,” in my head at all times.
I would recommend doing something positive towards your goal every single day.
Whether that may be calling on jobs, looking online, networking, maybe even creating a vision board with the type of job you want and a picture of yourself with a big smile on your face! The time should be utilized strictly towards achieving your goal.
Then, after you’ve designated a portion of your day towards your goal take the rest of the day off. Forget about it.
Remind yourself you’ve done everything you can/need to for that day and do something for yourself that makes you happy.
Go for a walk, meet up with a friend, watch your favorite movie. Whatever it is, it should be something that makes you relaxed and happy.
Hope you find a job soon and don’t forget to stay positive! Negative thoughts manifest negative realities.